grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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