I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize