I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
