I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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