A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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