The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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