quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize