i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are two peas in an std pod
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
