just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
