she was so not down for the gang bang
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
