Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
