Tell her she can't have a vagina
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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