If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
