This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
