just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
