the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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