her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
