What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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