THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
