I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
