Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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