You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
