The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
