the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
