so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
