he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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