She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just had sex on a roof
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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