I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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