3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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