he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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