I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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