She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize