if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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