If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We left the knife in your bed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
