Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
