It's Friday. Sex?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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