she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
