from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize