carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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