what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
His hands were made for my vagina.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
