He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
