I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
