apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
