Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
