I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
