Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
