my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
