Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
