your thong is hanging out like whoa
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
