Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
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