I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
