so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
