PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
