they need to just BURY HIM!
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
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