We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
