So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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