I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize