i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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