If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
