I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
