When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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