would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
