man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
im holly from the hills drunk
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He shit in the fireplace
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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