shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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