just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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