ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
