Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
