Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
