we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
