Kiss
Puke
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize