We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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