she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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