Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
