So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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