He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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