Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
