I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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