Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
